This is my MC-12 diet plan (patent pending). I'm sure this diet will soon gain followership just like the South Beach Diet or Atkins or another similar faddish diet regime. Give this a try if you want IMMEDIATE results:
1. Eat a normal meal whenever you get up. Normal can be your definition, I just wouldn't call anything like "pound a baker's dozen worth of doughnuts" normal.
2. Sweat through your fire retardant flight suit on your walk to work.
3. Fly a 4-5 hour sortie in an aircraft that is practically devoid of working air conditioners, rendering the ambient cockpit temperature a balmy 92-95 degrees while you sit and bake in the sun. Sweat through fire retardant clothing and body armor once more.
4. Skip lunch (because you're retarded and forgot to pack one). Instead, satiate yourself with a power bar, caffeine products and the thought of what you would be eating if you had even the most infinitesimal amount of foresight required to pack said lunch.
5. Land, and make it back to work. Sweat through clothing once more.
6. Head back to your domicile. Sweat a little more.
7. Go to the gym. Turn up the temperature (approximately 85-90 degrees should suffice) and sweat the rest of your fluid out as you put your dehydrated body through the rigors of a challenging workout that ordinarily would have you running for the trash can, but since you have nothing in your gut, puking is not an option.
8. Clean up, attempt to rehydrate. Go eat a normal dinner. By this point your stomach has shrank to a size best described as "indignant withdrawal." You won't be able to fit in as much as you'd like.
9. Do this EVERY DAY for 6 months. Results guaranteed.
This has been working wonders for me, hope y'all find it as effective as I have. Take care!
Wellen
1. Eat a normal meal whenever you get up. Normal can be your definition, I just wouldn't call anything like "pound a baker's dozen worth of doughnuts" normal.
2. Sweat through your fire retardant flight suit on your walk to work.
3. Fly a 4-5 hour sortie in an aircraft that is practically devoid of working air conditioners, rendering the ambient cockpit temperature a balmy 92-95 degrees while you sit and bake in the sun. Sweat through fire retardant clothing and body armor once more.
4. Skip lunch (because you're retarded and forgot to pack one). Instead, satiate yourself with a power bar, caffeine products and the thought of what you would be eating if you had even the most infinitesimal amount of foresight required to pack said lunch.
5. Land, and make it back to work. Sweat through clothing once more.
6. Head back to your domicile. Sweat a little more.
7. Go to the gym. Turn up the temperature (approximately 85-90 degrees should suffice) and sweat the rest of your fluid out as you put your dehydrated body through the rigors of a challenging workout that ordinarily would have you running for the trash can, but since you have nothing in your gut, puking is not an option.
8. Clean up, attempt to rehydrate. Go eat a normal dinner. By this point your stomach has shrank to a size best described as "indignant withdrawal." You won't be able to fit in as much as you'd like.
9. Do this EVERY DAY for 6 months. Results guaranteed.
This has been working wonders for me, hope y'all find it as effective as I have. Take care!
Wellen
No comments:
Post a Comment